Grief Work

If you've ever talked to a counselor or other trained professional about grief, they will refer to something called "grief work." In my experience, this is a lot like doing physical therapy after an injury, or working out to strengthen the body.

Today I did some Pilates which always challenges my body while leaving my muscles stretched and a bit tired. It feels good to work through some of the toxins and release the tension. My muscles like feeling the "burn" as they heat up through the movements, and I've come to look forward to that sensation.

When I work out, I have to intentionally set aside time in my busy day, or it won't happen. I plan for it, I set up a space in my home, or I go to a park or other location. It takes diligence and focus to work out.

Grief work is a lot like this for me as well. If I get too busy, I simply won't set aside time to "do grief." The emotional toxins build up inside of me and slowly leak into other areas of my life. I've gone a few weeks without doing any intentional grief work. The past few days, it has meant that I'm having strange dreams about babies, about giving birth, about babies being born and then dying.

So, I've been breezing past some of the early warning signs, but now it's time to be intentional about grieving. The toxic emotions need a release. Maybe I will journal or look at Liza's scrapbook. Maybe I will visit her grave. In any case, I'm signing off here and going to do the work of grief.