We give our time, our energy, our very life blood for our children.
For my children, whom we are adopting, it means wrapping my arms around the baggage they have brought into our lives.
There are memories in this family which I did not help to create. There are shadows in this family that hang on to my little ones. Fears rise in their hearts in the middle of ordinary days that I can only hope to understand.
The other night I headed out for a quick walk while my husband made dinner (yes, I'm a lucky girl) and the kids jumped on the trampoline with friends. I let them know I would be back in time for dinner, but the sight of me walking up the road was too much for them. My son yelled "Bye mom!" at the top of his lungs for as long as I could hear him. And my daughter cried out to her friends as she jumped, "Guys, don't you SEE my mom is LEAVING?" Their voices were high pitched, full of stress and fear. The shadow of the mother who left them and never came back lingers still.
Mother's Day is a day of loss and grieving for children who are adopted. Their birth mother is psychologically present every single day, even when not consciously acknowledged. Mother's Day is also a day of loss for so many others, whether they mourn the loss of a mother, the loss of a child, or the loss of a dream of having children.
This Mother's Day, may we be filled with compassion for all as we acknowledge that everyone's journey is unique. May we spend time embracing the dear family and friends who are near us, even as we cry for the ones we miss. It's a day to honor motherhood in all of its many dimensions, and the deep love we hold in our hearts for mothers and children everywhere.