A common theme throughout this blog is thankfulness. I've found that gratitude can make the difference between sinking and swimming on the journey of grief. Being thankful for the blessings that are all around me helps me to pull myself out of the muck and mire of self pity.
This post, Pinpricks in the Darkness, provides a brief introduction to the topic of thankfulness.
Another post, Grief Is a Shape Changer, goes deeper into these feelings. When grieving, it is healthy to ask "Why me?" and to pour out all our feelings. If we have the comfort of faith, we express our anger and frustration to God - and the more we let out our true feelings to him, the better.
There is a point for me, though, when asking why this happened to me and not someone else crosses over a fine line into jealousy. I find that when I am stuck in the place of anger and jealousy at other people who seem to have it so easy, it really helps to start thanking God for all the blessings in my life. It breaks the cycle of jealousy and frees my soul from the poison of self pity.
If you're in an intense phase of grief, you may be angry that I'm suggesting thankfulness. For me, those intense periods have been all-consuming, and I know no other way to get through them than to keep going through. This choice of thankfulness for me has come more during the reprieves when the feelings are not as intense and I am coming up for air for a day or two. Please understand, I still have really bad days, and I believe we who are grieving need to give ourselves a lot of grace when we are going through those valleys.
