Our Butterfly - Part 1

This is the first of what will probably be several posts about butterflies.

I use butterfly imagery a lot on this blog because butterflies are significant to our family. They remind us of our little Liza Jane.

When I was carrying her in my womb and we were learning of her difficult medical problems, a couple of people independently told us that Liza would emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon. That she would surprise us and that she would be beautiful.

At the time I interpreted those words in a specific way. There were other words tacked on to those statements about healing. And I believed she would surprise us by being miraculously healed and made whole on this earth.

That wasn't meant to be, apparently. Our delicate, beautiful little butterfly girl did not last long in this life. After she died, Luke and I took some time to get away. One of the things we did was to visit a butterfly farm in St. Martin, FWI, as a tribute to her. We learned some pretty interesting things about butterflies there.

Butterflies usually only live a couple of weeks once they emerge from their cocoons. During their brief lifespans as beautiful winged creatures, they have one primary purpose: to reproduce. All the lovely show of color that they put on is to help them attract a mate. Male butterflies will dance and twirl around a female, hoping she will choose them. This ritual goes on for a few hours at a time. And if the female rejects the male, he will go off and mope by himself for a while. We actually saw these behaviors at the butterfly farm.

So maybe those people were right about our Liza Jane in a way. She did emerge from the womb like a beautiful butterfly. She was more delicate and fragile than we could have imagined, and her life span was only a few short weeks. And in a way, I think she was here for the purpose to reproduce herself. Her life produced a drastic change in many who came into contact with her, as well as quite a few people who never met her.

Since I've joined some online communities about the loss of a child, I noticed that many other people are reminded of their children when they see a butterfly. It seems to be a common theme among grieving parents, and I think it is a fitting one.

I'll close today with a quote that was on a sympathy card someone shared with us after Liza died. It really meant a lot to me. If you are remembering a loved one today, I hope this will resonate with you too.

"It is not how long the flower blooms, but how beautifully."

- Unknown