Sometimes, Christmas is sad. I notice the sadness comes in waves. Don't get me wrong, it's a holiday that I have loved since childhood, and I continue to really enjoy and embrace it today. Christmas helps me to get through the darkest season of the year. It is about warmth and love and family.
As much as I enjoy the holiday, though, I have found myself feeling sad over the past week. I've been thinking about the loss of my baby girl some. I've also been thinking of all the families who are having a less than ideal Christmas this year. Maybe there isn't enough money for gifts, or maybe there isn't even enough money for food, heat or shelter.
Other families are facing serious illness, or the recent death of a loved one, and they are wondering how they will get through this Christmas.
My experience with Liza taught me that I cannot take the blessedness of an ordinary day for granted. It also taught me to be very aware that many people are not having quiet, ordinary days. Too many people are dealing with loss, heartache and suffering.
I feel accountable to my daughter to keep this in mind, and to act upon it. She lives on in eternity, and I know she is watching to see the choices I make going forward. I hope and pray that my actions will honor her memory.
So I'm making small choices this Christmas to reach out beyond myself and begin to act. Baby steps seem to be working for me right now, so I am not trying to save an entire country or change the entire world. But I'm being intentional in giving to some causes that I believe matter.
I want to let the sadness that haunts my heart always, and even more at the holidays, propel me forward to do what I can to relieve the suffering in this world. And I know my daughter looks down from her place in the great cloud of witnesses, and she cheers me on.
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