Why me?

Why me?  That is the question that has often been on the forefront of my mind as I have lived through the loss of my baby girl. Usually I ask it while shaking my fist at the sky, wondering why God couldn't just allow me to have the one thing that I wanted more than anything in the world: motherhood.

This is a very natural question to ask when tragedy strikes. And I'm not advocating that we stuff these emotions inside, denying the way that we feel.

I usually find, though, that when I start going down the "Why me?" road, I quickly get stuck in the mire of self pity which causes a downward spiral of depression. That isn't a fun place to hang around.

On the way to work I often listen to our local NPR station, and today I heard a short interview with Dan Gottlieb, Ph.D., who is a family therapist. I thought he had some really insightful things to say about surviving grief and trauma this morning. You can listen to the short interview here.

What struck me was that Dr. Dan, who has been through far more trauma than I, has learned the same lesson that I'm walking through. Changing the frame of reference of that question, "Why me?", makes all the difference. I've written about this before, but he re-stated it yet again in a new and refreshing way.

We should be asking "Why me?" all the time. When we look into our pantry and see it full of food, we should look up and say, "Why am I blessed with such bounty?" When we look at our home which provides relief from the elements, we should ask again, "Why me? Why do I get to live in such security?" The list can go on and on. This is a habit I hope to cultivate in my life - one where my thoughts naturally lean toward gratitude, where I am continually gathering the blessings around me and sending my thanks up to the heavens.

I would love to hear from you. What blessings are you thankful for today?